So I guess Lauren Conrad wasn't kidding when she said she wants to design clothes,

unfortunatly.

Just when I thought she couldn't get ANY worse, I was wrong. She is worse. In fact, she is way worse.
Check out the fall collection
HERE.

Seems to me that she didn't use one ounce of that "fashion smarts" she's got to create any of this crap, considering that everything within the collection; a. looks as though it would be held in any Macey's junior department or our fav Charlotte Russe, and b. NONE OF IT IS WITHIN 3 MM OF THE SAME STYLE PREMISE OF EACHOTHER. Aren't collections, or atleast ones that seem to be fancy enough to be labeled "Fall Collection"'s, supposed to not look EXACTLY the same, but atleast use the same hues and overall "look"?

And to be pefectly honest, if her clothes were to ever one day arrive at Charlotte Russe's doorstep and they don't reject it, I would never step foot into, Charlotte Russe (Which is an already hard to step into store) again, that's how much I don't like Lauren Conrand.

Atleast we understand where this horrible stuff comes from-Considering it reflects her style PERFECTLY, and it looks as though it was made as how cheap her clothes appear, and yet, they try so hard to portray class.

Tina Fey... is that you?

Naww man, it's only John McCain's pick for Vice President, Sarah Palin. Welcome to this edition of, "True Life: I am a Republican LATER ADDED ON: Candidate LATER ADDED ON: who has a slim chance of winning the Novemember Elections LATER ADDED ON: because I am an idiot LATER ADDED ON: and just chose the Governor of Alaska as my VP."


Okay, so Sarah was introduced by McCain after (I SWEAR I heard it while I was watching it on T.V.) booed and "hugged to fix the booboo (no pun intended)" by his wife on Friday (Aug 29 a.k.a. his birthday) afternoon.

Don't quote me on the whole "booed" comment, because I could have just been light-headed by the color of Cindy McCains arm cast.

Sarah made a MARVELOUS speech (....) first introducing her beautiful family, and then talking about her childhood, following that by how much she gives back to the people she governs in Alaska. She is truly something, huh? She even told Congress, "Thanks but no thanks." GOD. This is truly epic..guys. HISTORY IN THE MAKING RIGHT HERE.

Well this was three days ago. IN FACT, three days and two stories later. This nonsense is now:

Tina, I mean, Sarah, supposedly fired public state commisioner, Walt Monegan, because he didn't fire a trooper who had been married to her sister. (Check it: http://www.usatoday.com/news/politics/election2008/2008-09-01-palin-attorney_N.htm?loc=interstitialskip)

Sarah's daughter, Bristol (Yes I know it's a water brand), who is 17, is FIVE MONTHS PREGNANT! Yayy. Can you believe it? A republicans teenaged daughter...PREGNANT? (Check it again and again:http://english.aljazeera.net/news/americas/2008/09/200891232232695427.html)

Personally, I don't care if her daughter is pregnant. All I care about is how they are going to explain to poor Trig that his sister had sex while their mother was pregnant with him.

Now that I thought of it, no wonder she's pregnant! She was probably sexually disturbed by the fact that her mother and father were still doing it after the age of 40. Ew. See, now I understand that sex is normal in life and many do it all their lives, but by a certain age (preferrably 40...or when your kids are old enough to realize how babies are made) YOU ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO MAKE IT OBVIOUS TO THE CHILDREN OF AMERICA THAT YOU ARE HAVING IT.

Anyway, Mother Sarah is pro-choice my friends, so that sucker is there to stay all the way until December or January. HAPPY TIMES.

I honestly feel bad for daughter, though. I would HATE it, but I am really excited for the next four months.

I know you guys are super excited for me to do a roast on this womans style *COUGH*hair*COUGH*, but do be patient.

Hey you know how I said I don't really drink?

Hey I lied.
Not really, but last night I did get quite tipsy with best friend, I will just say that much.
Pretty sure we lost a few friends due to us calling and apologizing for "being mean" to them prior to us consuming alcohol. (Which we really weren't-we were just stating the obvious-and I don't really think calling someone a cock after he and the others hims ditch you for another gross (not really, she's actually pretty) girls house when you had plans since, like, "2005" to be at her house on Sunday night isn't really that mean.) They told us we sounded "retarded" and "slow" and told us to "drink water" and be "big girls". Whaaaaaaat? Okay "Big Boys", let me prepare you a sippy cup so that when you are in your crib crying about it you can have the tasty delight of juicy-juice and some of my spit.
BUT THAT'S ALRIGHT! We didn't need your booze, we already had my booze, and it tasted like shit.
I was absolutely repulsed by how bad this crap was and it's Robotussin taste and it's water look, but I was pissed, so it really didn't matter because I also had a chaser.

HAPPY LABOR DAY!

Floly Flucking Floral!

You know that really annoying, "I know I'm forgetting something but I just don't know what..." or "I know I came in here to get something, but I forgot..." feeling you get that makes you want to kill yourself? Well yeah, welcome to my summer. Really, all summer long, I was having this feeling of vulnerability because I wasn't sure what I was forgetting everywhere I went.

So today I somehow managed to find myself at Target (who would've thought?) and as I am walking toward the clearance jewelery aisle (to find a new chain to put my owl, Fraunk) when I see these immensely unsightly leggings with all this flower garabage on them and I think to myself, "They're really putting floral on everything these days."

And then it hit me.

Turns out I really wasn't forgetting anything everytime I felt that "I know I am forgetting something" feeling, it was only me getting stalked by floral prints everywhere I go.

And you wanna know what the worst part about all of this is? My closet consists of floral too.

Are you really being serious, life?

Check these crazy bitches out: